Saturday, May 31, 2008


BOBBIE FAYE'S (kinda, sorta, not exactly) FAMILY JEWELS has hit the stores!

(If you're new to Bobbie Faye, think "action/adventure" and comedy. Or as I like to explain, if Elmore Leonard and Janet Evanovich were to have a bastard love child, it would be Bobbie Faye. Here's where you can see the craziness that went on in book one: here.... and an except of book two: here.)

And to celebrate, it's CONTEST time.

We (and by we, I mean the super cool, amazing and fabulous Michele Bardsley and Dakota Cassidy) are running a blog contest today. Bobbie Faye has been slammed by the editor of her local paper--she owes him money--she sort of blew up a couple of things and ran over a few other things that he owned and he's really not happy about this. She's trying to pay him back by doing an advice column.

Three letters to Bobbie Faye and her BAD advice back... means THREE chances to win... read the letter and then see what ya gotta do to enter below.

And now here's the latest letter to plague Bobbie Faye:

Dear Bobbie Faye:

I have a sort of itty bitty problem. My girlfriend says I'm accident prone, and I'm beginning to think she's right. I'm not sure what to do about it. First, that radio fell in the bathtub, and honest-to-God, I don't remember setting it up there on the edge of the tub, and I almost didn't make it out of there fast enough. And then the bed caught on fire--man, that was a freak accident! I could have sworn the iron wasn't even plugged in on the ironing board next to the bed, but Sally says I sleepwalk sometimes, and turn things on. And then yesterday, the gun fell out of the closet, hit the floor and shot a hole clean through the other side of the bedroom. It's getting to where I just don't know what I'm gonna do next, and Sally and her good friend, the doctor, say there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm just clumsy.

I see you've gone through a whole slew of crazy disasters, and you're still in one piece. Can you give me some advice to help me not be so clumsy?


Not Who You Think It Is

Dear Not A Lick of Sense:

Harold. Honey. I know that's you. I tried to tell you last year when the car fell off the jack stands while you were working underneath it that maybe Sally hadn't quite forgiven you for that time with Loretta. It's probably a good bet that she's also found out about Cindy. And probably Mary Lou. And I don't care how you want to think about it, no guy accidentally falls into another woman's vagina. Ever.

And Harold? The UPS guy mentioned he'd just delivered a big ass chain saw to your house, so you might want to re-think that whole nooner thing you've got going with Betsy Ann and get busy packing, while you still have parts to pack.


Bobbie Faye

NOW, for the contest....

So here's what ya gotta do to enter--

Read Nina's cry from the lovelorn here:

Read Patsy's plea here:

Read Bobbie Faye's newest letter for her column (above) and comment here!

We're all giving away prizes, and you could be entered to win 'em all! Just leave comments at each blog. Each author will choose a winner. And here's what you could win if you come play with us!

Dakota's giving away a signed ARC of ACCIDENTALLY DEAD and an Amazon gift certificate for 15 smackers :)

Michele Bardsley's offered up an ARC of her November release WAIT TILL YOUR VAMPIRE GETS HOME and some Broken Heart goodies.

And I'm giving away a 15$ Barnes and Noble gift certificate and an awesome T-shirt:

And now those damned contest rules--

Contest begins Sunday June 1, 2008 and ends Monday June 2, 2008 at midnight CST. One winner will be chosen from each blog--so go enter them all!

All winners are chosen at random and must check back at each blog on Tuesday June 3, 2008 to see if they've won in order to claim their prize.


Blogger Lil said...

Hmmm...actually, I read the letter asking for advice and Bobbie Faye's reply rather makes sense in a very public, two-by-four over the head kind of way.

June 1, 2008 at 12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupendous advice! Get out of Dodge while the gettin's good! Sheesh, shoulds like Harold needs a motto for his tombstone: Here lies Harold, who found out how to come and go at the same time.....what a way to go! I think it's so cool how Bobbie Faye "recognized" Harold and cutting to the chase, told him just what to do.....she was probably laughing her fangs/tail off!`

June 1, 2008 at 2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gadzooks, sounds (not "shoulds")

June 1, 2008 at 2:53 AM  
Blogger starryann said...

wow how did you know it was Harold, seems like things that could happen to any accident prone guy who had a helpful person around the house lol

June 1, 2008 at 4:59 AM  
Blogger starryann said...

wow how did you know it was Harold, seems like things that could happen to any accident prone guy who had a helpful person around the house lol

June 1, 2008 at 5:00 AM  
Blogger starryann said...

sorry about two posts seem to be having blogger hell, didn't think first post went through as that is what site told me. apologies

June 1, 2008 at 5:02 AM  
Blogger Amy S. said...

Great advice! I think if I was Harold, I would be getting the heck out of dodge. lol.

June 1, 2008 at 6:01 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

ROFLMAO. "No man ever accidentally fell into a vagina." K, that's classic!

Toni-dude, I'm so glad I heard about your new book from Dakota. Its right up my alley and I can't believe I missed the first one. You're hilarious!

June 1, 2008 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

And I don't care how you want to think about it, no guy accidentally falls into another woman's vagina. Ever.

Hahaha! that part cracked me up! :)

June 1, 2008 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger azteclady said...

Hello, Toni!

I'm following the breadcrumbs from Dakota's place. Bobbie Faye sounds like a rather *cough* charming *cough* lady to have a nice, sedate tea party with...


Best of luck with the release!

June 1, 2008 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

Bobbie Faye sounds like an absolutely amazing woman and I am so going to buy the books and read them as soon as possible!! As for the advice column thing, that would be one section I would read every day.

June 1, 2008 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger kaisquared said...

LOL the vagina line matches one I saw about the revirginized klutz who kept failing due to falling on random peni in the park.

Love Bobbie Faye.... you go girl!

June 1, 2008 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Always listen to Bobbie Faye! lol
I think she's great. I so enjoyed her first book and I can't wait to read the second one!

June 1, 2008 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

OHMYGOSH! I love that shirt! I love it!

Witness protection, Harold. And keep it in your pants if it hasn't fallen off! LOL!

Melissa K.

June 1, 2008 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Robin Snodgrass said...

LOL - "Not a lick of sense" huh? That's priceless.

Bobbie Faye knows how to give honest, down-to-earth advice! Keep up the great work!

June 1, 2008 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger ~Linda~ said...

Dear Bobbie Faye Awesome advise for Harold! Now can ya help my sister out??? :O)

June 1, 2008 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Cathy said...

I can totally see the Elmore Leonard/Janet Evanovich love child thing, Bobbie Faye is a hoot.

June 1, 2008 at 10:09 AM  
Blogger Crazy Lady said...

OMG... I think I know Harold...  LOLThanks for the giggles, off to Amazon...  :)

June 1, 2008 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger fragrantsoul said...

LoL that is too funny. Great contest!!

June 1, 2008 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Theresa N. said...

Poor baby..he just doesn't get it.
Theresa N

June 1, 2008 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Jasmine said...

Harold wouldn't last two minutes if I found him cheating. And forget making it look like an accident. They would never find the body.

June 1, 2008 at 10:39 AM  
Blogger starbucks.heaven said...

Bobbie Faye has all the answers... I want to be her when I grow up :)

June 1, 2008 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Carmel said...

Who was the doctor that said there wasn't anything wrong with him? I have to make a note so as not to see THAT doctor. LOL... that was just great...

June 1, 2008 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger tetewa said...

I had to laugh out loud when I read no man accidentally falls on a vagina!

June 1, 2008 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Caryl said...

Good advice Bobby Faye. However I think you should have kept the tidbit about the chainsaw to yourself. Us womenfolk need to stick together, ya know.

June 1, 2008 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger clynsg said...

Good fantasy worlds are hard to come by. This one sounds as if it might succeed.
clynsg at

June 1, 2008 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Ashli said...

I think Bobbie Faye is my long lost twin. Sarcastic, causes property damage (on purpose or not) and a Southerner!

I'm currently reading the first book and it's hilarious. Can't wait to get my hands on the next one!

June 1, 2008 at 12:46 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Poor Harold. I don't think he'll be able to stay out of trouble or accidents.

June 1, 2008 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Brandy said...

How do you accidentally fall into someones......never mind. I don't want to know. And Harold better run like hades!

June 1, 2008 at 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Harold, I'm thinking Bobbie has a good idea, keep it in your pants before you girlfriend pulls a Lorena on you!!

June 1, 2008 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Well, since I don't personally know Harold I can't say much about him. But it seemed fairly obvious to me after reading the letter that the ever helpful Sally was in fact helping with the "accidents". I Love Bobbie Faye's advice and hope that Harold takes it, post haste. Can you imagine what kind of damage a chain saw would do.......

June 1, 2008 at 1:42 PM  
Blogger cherio1 said...

Wow Harold. You sound exactly like my accident prone hubby. Somehow, he "accidently" kinked his oxygen hose in the middle of the night and woke up gasping for air. Whew, close one!hahaha

June 1, 2008 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger double T said...

I think Bobbie Faye's advice is a great idea however if Harold is this slow at getting the hint, do you really think he will listen? He sound like he is related to my ex-husband, but I would never do anything like that to him even if he really deserved it. (Honest Officer, ask one of his many girl friends instead.)

June 1, 2008 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

accidentally fall into a vagina that it too funny. Nope your right that is never going to happen

June 1, 2008 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger FayeK said...

It seems a little unusual that Bobbie Faye is telling someone else how to avoid disastrous events....but who would know more about them? Glad I'm not married to Harold.

June 1, 2008 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger Laurel-lei said...

Now every good southern woman knows the best way to 'accidentaly' lose a cheetin man is to take him fishin down at the 'secret' home farm pond! And Sally has the added luck to live close by some of the best gator swamps in the world! LOL
Bet ol Harold would love a beer or two (dozen) and before he even realized he'd been pushed... er SLIPPED he'd be havin the time of his life rollin round with more female than even he could handle!
Damn! Now I'm homesick!

June 1, 2008 at 3:20 PM  
Blogger The Book Girl said...

Bobbie Faye is hilarious!! I love her.

June 1, 2008 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger Angie-la said...

no guy accidentally falls into another woman's vagina.
Hmmmmm. That sounds suspiciously close to the last loser excuse I heard:
I swear, darlin'. I wasn't feelin' her up. I tripped and her boobs broke my fall! :p

June 1, 2008 at 3:31 PM  
Blogger Night critter said...

If Harold is attached to his parts, as so many guys are, then he needs to follow Bobbie Faye's advice and pack his parts and then keep them packed!

June 1, 2008 at 4:21 PM  
Blogger BethRe said...

What is he waiting for a reply for from Bobbie Faye he should be packing

June 1, 2008 at 5:19 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Unless Harold's legally blind, I wouldn't think using the excuse about looking for the vagina's, I'm sorry... Mary Lou's, braile inspected by sticker on her panties, will keep his ass out of trouble. Bobby Faye's advice is sound. I'd suggest grabbing his own panties and joining a monestary

June 1, 2008 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger annalisa said...

Bobbie Faye gives good advice! Harold better listen to her while he still can! :)

June 1, 2008 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger macbeaner said...

Man. that sounds rough. I'd stay out of the bathroom. seriously.

June 1, 2008 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger darbyscloset said...

Bobbie Faye, just tells it like it is....I mean why ask for advice if you don't want the truth!
Harold knows the truth wouldn't hurt so much if he wasn't dicken around!!!

June 1, 2008 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger Lori T said...

Bobbie Faye that is very good solid advice and I believe hits the nail right on the head.

June 1, 2008 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

It doesn't get any better than this!

And H, dude, run.

June 1, 2008 at 8:38 PM  
Blogger heather_snow said...

Leave Harold. You will not make it far if you stay any longer. Besides are you sure the other half isn't having downtime with the Doc?? The advice is great and maybe he could listen but you never know till sometimes it is too late!!

June 1, 2008 at 8:52 PM  
Blogger windycindy said...

I think someone is very gullible. He doesn't sounds like much of a man to me! How many women have been with him?! They must be desperate! I love the advice that you gave Harold!
Obviously, he is an imbecile and won't heed your answer! Cindi

June 1, 2008 at 8:56 PM  
Blogger Kimberly B. said...

Not only is Bobbie Faye's advice right on, Harold's letter has given me a good excuse not to iron! After all, wrinkle free clothing isn't worth the risk of setting the bed on fire.

June 1, 2008 at 8:59 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

Damn, I love you people. You made my DAY. I was out all day, and this is freaking amazing to come home to.

Now Harold, on the other hand, had better run for the hills. I love the Witness Protection program--he is seriously gonna need it. ;)

I think Bobbie Faye's gonna have to answer more letters each week. Make it a regular Friday thing.

You guys rock!

June 1, 2008 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger ~Linda~ said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mental note check back every friday.......
I gotta be careful Dakota will steal my crutches..

Bobby Faye is better than Montel, Dr Phil or even Oprah.....

June 1, 2008 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger trish said...


Bobbie sounds like a person who has an answer for everything if you just listen carefully, choose which part to accept, or even test your understanding. Just love the accidentally falling into a vagina comment.. the mental image was something to die for or die laughing. Thanks for the best laugh for the day.

June 2, 2008 at 12:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good advice. Don't want to mess with a pissed off woman with a chainsaw.

June 2, 2008 at 3:06 AM  
Blogger Pam P said...

If Harold had any smarts at all, he didn't waste any time packing and is already long gone; you did say that chain saw was already delivered...

June 2, 2008 at 3:19 AM  
Blogger Ann M. said...

I'm staying on Bobbie Faye's good side.

June 2, 2008 at 4:35 AM  
Blogger Qwill said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 2, 2008 at 5:44 AM  
Blogger Qwill said...

Goddess of advice is Bobbie Faye
(She certainly has a lot to say)
But good advice she surely gives
Harold, run, run, run if you want to live

Can't wait to read Bobbie Faye's books after this sterling introduction to her by you, Dakota, and Michele. Thanks!

June 2, 2008 at 5:47 AM  
Blogger CrystalGB said...

LOL Great advice. :)

June 2, 2008 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger Cherie J said...

Sounds like Harold better run. That was great!

June 2, 2008 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Toni said...

ashli, thank you! And does your family have extra "demolition" insurance? Because as Bobbie Faye wants to know where you got it because nobody will insure her! ;)

Aw, Gwill, I *love* the poem! That's so freaking cool.

You guys crack me up.

June 2, 2008 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Carmen R said...

Hmmm I think Harold needs to find a new doctor and a new place to live. Who ever tells you there is nothing wrong with ya when you seem to have the IQ of a salad bar has to be on drugs. Harold listen to Bobbie Faye and run for the hills.

June 2, 2008 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger ddurance said...

I'm loving these letters! LOL

The responses are great too.


June 2, 2008 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger Rashmi said...

Dear Sleepless-with-Sally, take a chill pill and scram, NOW! Do you have those Bose headphones on or what?!

Dear Mizz Smart-ass-advice, You pushed Holmes over the falls and not Moriarty, didn't ya? Did you do a Hannibal with his brain before that, I wonder? Let's not even speculate about poor Watson. Good job with the advice though, hope the sucker takes it without a pinch of salt!

June 2, 2008 at 1:44 PM  
Blogger Qwill said...

Thank you, Toni. Bobbie Faye just makes me feel poetical! So I left little poems for Dakota & Michele as well. :-)

June 2, 2008 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

Rashmi... um... what is the statute of limitations on those crimes? :::::looking entirely innocent:::::


-bobbie faye

June 2, 2008 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Hehe, good times. I think I dated a relative of Bobbie Faye's once.

June 2, 2008 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger Misha said...

boy, is he slow; I knew from the radio she was tryin to do him in, lol...

June 2, 2008 at 3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the letters are hilarious!! Y'all have the best sense of humor!I love Bobbie Faye's advice

June 2, 2008 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger dawn said...

boobie faye sounds like a very funny, get-right-to-the point, hit-you-up-upside-the head kind of girl. :) sounds like her mama didn't raise no stupid. looks like a great series and i can't wait to read it.

June 2, 2008 at 6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you absolutely sure that no guy ever falls into some other woman's vagina by accident? I mean, are you really really sure? My best friend's cousin's roommate said that she knew a guy it happened to. For real!

(And now I've been dragged into another book series I just have to read... I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say Dakota and Michele -- and you too Toni -- are part of one heck of a huge conspiracy to part me from my money and have books take up space in my apartment.)

June 2, 2008 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

rob! and you lived to tell about it! go you! ;) So few people do.

misha, LOL. yeah, that radio was a dead (er, no pun intended) giveaway!

sadie and dawn and everyone -- THANK YOU. You all were so much fun.

And tinyturtle, aren't Dakota and Michele THE BEST? Seriously, they rock.

June 2, 2008 at 8:30 PM  
Blogger Phyllis said...

Oh Harold - such a bad, bad boy. You better listen to Bobbie Faye (she gives great advice!) so that maybe you can hold on to all your parts :D


June 2, 2008 at 8:52 PM  
Blogger danetteb said...

Lol! If I was Harold I'd find the white room. The one with voice commands if ya need something. :D

Hugs, Danette

June 2, 2008 at 9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YAY free stuff!!!!

June 2, 2008 at 9:55 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home